Restarting Life After The Reset — Beca Lewis

I opened the drawer where I keep candles and flashlights and realized that I still had two beautiful scented candles waiting for me to use them.

It reminded me of my mother’s candle drawer. Actually, not just one drawer, two big ones stuffed with candles of all sizes and shapes. She never lights them. Even the candles she sometimes uses as a centerpiece remain unlit. I have learned not to give her candles as a gift. There is no more room for them.

“Why not light them?” I used to ask.

“I’m saving them,” she has always answered.

I’m not so foolish anymore to ask for what. She’s ninety-five.

Of course, this isn’t about candles.

But seeing the candles that I forgot I had, prompted me to ask myself what I have been saving to do or use later and what I should do or use now?

However, later that day, out on a brief walk since I believed that was all that I had time for, I realized I had missed the other side of the coin.

What about burning the candle at both ends, or burning all the candles at once?

I am guilty of doing all three things.

I am guilty of not using what I have, trying to do too much, and not paying attention to the timing of what to do and when to do it.

And now that we have entered the restart phase of life, rather than the reset phase we have all been in this last year, it’s the perfect time to ask these questions of ourselves.

• What am I not using that I could?
• Why aren’t I?
• What do I need to know, or do, to use it now?
• What am I doing that I don’t need to be doing right now?
• Why am I doing it?
• What do I need to know to stop doing it or put it away for now?

I would love to say that we can answer these questions in a flash, like looking them up on google. But of course, they can’t be. These are questions we need to ponder, and the answers will be different for each of us.

To get to the answers, we need more time to pause and listen.

More time sitting quietly and admiring how the trees blow in the wind or how the cardinal sings to its mate.

More time pausing to remember that life isn’t about how much we get done in a day. More time listening to how to use the gifts we have. When to light our candles, and how many at one time.

More time to pause to remind ourselves not to compare ourselves to others and their success or lack of it.

Pause to remind ourselves that no one moment is more important than another. That no one person is more important than another.

Pause to think through what we liked about the life we have made this past year, what we want to keep, and what no longer serves us.

Pause to celebrate that the puzzle called life is made up of each of us expressing ourselves in our unique personal way. To remind ourselves that it only gets confusing when we listen to anything that divides us, or compares us, or makes us rise up in hatred or revenge.

Candles are meant to be burned, life is meant to be lived. Gracefully.

Some of us will light one candle at a time, while others can light many. Discovering which candles to light and when happens in the listening pause.

Pausing and listening is our personal google, where all answers reside.

And now that we have the chance to redesign our lives as the world enters its next season, let’s be sure to ask and answer those questions before saying yes or no

We can let these questions and answers guide us through this transition, and all the changes and transitions to come, so that living life gracefully for everyone is the outcome.

Originally published at https://www.becalewis.com on March 29, 2021.